Yuri Suguiyama is the new head coach at Wisconsin. The first big hire of this already insane college hiring season is in place. I want to congratulate Yuri, but not on the job.
No, the comments that Suguiyama's hiring inspired on Swimswam are pure gold, and something all coaches should aspire too. The varying levels of jealousy, bitterness and anger (mixed with some genuine praise) from anonymous commenters are powerful enough to fuel multiple Death Stars. Come at me Star Wars nerds.
You can't inspire that much anonymous vitriol without having a lot of success. Here are some of the highlights:
1. Gorb is locked in a battle to prove that Suguiyama didn't "officially" coach at the 2016 Olympics
Suguiyama was very clearly involved with coaching American swimmers at the 2016 Olympic games. However, for whatever reason he was not listed on "official" documentation as such. Anonymous commenter Gorb angrily demanded that Swimswam "prove" that Suguiyama was a 2016 Olympic coach.
I hope that someday, somebody will get very fired up about whether I was "officially" a coach at an Olympics which I travelled to and ended up talking to and helping swimmers (i.e. coaching). We can all hope that right?
2. "Yuri seems to get a lot of hype for being around great swimmers with other coaches."
This comment came from "PVDH". Who, I really hope is not Pieter van den Hoogenband. You were a great Hoogie! My favorite freestyler of all time. Tell me you have not fallen into becoming a bitter Swimswam commenter.
Anyway, I guess the logic of this comment is that...Suguiyama should not have worked with other successful coaches and top international swimmers? After coaching Katie Ledecky, he should have found become head coach at the slowest possible Division 3 school he could find and shown his coaching genius by polishing all the swimmers into Olympic diamonds, I guess.
3. The Bitter Tears of Carolina
Any discussion of Suguiyama would not be complete if I didn't recognize the anonymous "Carolina alums" who have actively pined for Suguiyama to come coach in Chapel Hill.
Suguiyama is a North Carolina alum, so it's not out of nowhere. According to "Crusty", he/she/they will no longer be donating to the program, at least partially because "Yuti" was not intercepted on his way to Madison by a job offer from UNC.
Which brings me to my honorable mention: apparently Tyler Fenwick is also a prime candidate to coach at Carolina because...ahem. I'll let "OOLALA" take it away:
"Sexiest coach in the NCAA (heart) #teamfenwick". Congratulations Tyler.