Lately I've been listening to a music mix that convinces me that I am rapidly moving towards the "old" portion of my life. I go out for a jog, or a dog walk, and I put on the "Top 100 Songs of 2002". That's right, I've decided effectively "screw new music". Let's just play what I listened to when I was eighteen and life was simple and easy.
Perhaps this post is once again destined to miss the mark with a few people, so be it. But as I walked around, I started thinking once again about "soft" coaching. I wrote about it a year ago, and it wasn't terribly well received. The word "soft" doesn't appeal to a lot of coaches. "Hard" does, for sure. As does "tough" especially when you combine it with some form of "mental" like "mentally tough".
This is always the first song I go for on the playlist. I remember it mostly for how much I liked it, and how much my male friends made fun of me for liking it. Which brings me full circle, there exists a lot of pressure on coaches to be tough. For all the commentary about parents protecting their "fragile" children, I find myself far more sensitive to my peers indicating that I am not "hard' enough.
So I'll leave it at this. Soft coaching is great. I'll keep talking about it. I'll still be proud of it. It's like this great Vanessa Carlton song. GREAT.
By the way, I skip the #1 song of 2002, which is naturally Nickelback "How You Remind Me" because I do not want to be reminded of 100x100s, the Nickelback of swimming sets (H/T Donald Spellman).
As opposed to Vanessa Carlton, Linkin Park was something my guy friends and I listened to when we felt comfortable in some boyish rage. I was sadly reminded that Chester Bennington committed suicide almost a year ago with coverage of the passing of both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain.
Although I'd followed Bourdain quite a bit, I hadn't payed attention to the wonderful words he'd had in relation to #metoo. He provided quite a good model for how most men in whatever domain they are in should act right about now.:
"But I had to ask myself, particularly given some things that I’m hearing, and the people I’m hearing them about: Why was I not the sort of person, or why was I not seen as the sort of person, that these women could feel comfortable confiding in? I see this as a personal failing…
I’ve been hearing a lot of really bad shit, frankly, and in many cases it’s like, wow, I’ve known some of these women and I’ve known women who’ve had stories like this for years and they’ve said nothing to me. What is wrong with me? What have I, how have I presented myself in such a way as to not give confidence, or why was I not the sort of person people would see as a natural ally here? So I started looking at that"
The list is full of songs that I am very embarrassed that I liked, therefore I will not put them here. A short list (and reason why)
- Fat Joe ft. Ashanti "What's Luv". Errr, read the lyrics and cringe.
- Any Eminem song. For whatever reason 34 year old me can't stand the voice 18 year old me loved
- Avril Lavigne "Complicated". I cannot, for whatever reason, delete the conspiracy theory that Avril Lavigne died and got body swapped. I will not link to it in the hopes that you won't suffer a similar fate.
Finally, when I'm reaching for that finally 1/8 of a mile on my run, I tap into the another song that my guy friends made fun of me for listening to. Only somehow, somewhere this artist turned the corner to the extent that every guy I knew could belt out every single lyric to her hit songs: