Today I want to focus on something different. As consistent readers will also have noted, I am on a bit of a “masculinity” or male identity jam right now. One of the things I’m arguing for passionately is more empathy for men, writ large, in the world. I want to talk about a barrier that I am running into and suggest that the barrier is in everyone’s best interest to remove.
The concept that I’m going to cover today is Positive Masculinity. As my colleague pointed out, it’s actually a quite timely issue to be discussing. One of the brilliant things I find about Positive Psychology is the way it frames certain social constructs. In a world where lack of empathy and understanding is supercharged, it is necessary for us to create intentionally positive frames for discussing things. Otherwise, we risk everything being viewed through a very pessimistic lense.
Now I was in the audience. When I get the chance to visit teams, I often take the opportunity to sit in on team meetings or watch practice. In each case, I think they are invaluable learning opportunities for me. One of the luckiest parts of what I do for work is that I get to see coaches from all over the country and across the world run their team.
That does mean, however, that when someone is doing something other than what I’ve landed upon at that moment, I can be quite judgmental. If there is a right, then there must be a wrong. Over the years, I have learned to think less black and white while holding on to my own judgments about what is right and wrong. I’ve learned that there is more than one absolute right in any given situation.
Instead I am echoing what I have heard from victims of abuse. Part of their story that I hear over and over again is the fact that many people had the ability to say or do the right thing to help them but did not.
I am trying to communicate to them that I will not do the same, and also encouraging them to hold me accountable to that promise
One of the questions that I often field from coaches goes something like this:
"What do I do about (athlete x)? They are struggling and they blame it on (laundry list of small things). I don't think that's really what the problem is".
This is a frustrating and common problem, one that can even get a bit infectious under the right conditions on a team. Often it leads frustrated coaches to challenge the athlete on the validity of their claims.
On February 28th I submitted a report via the online form on Paul Bergen. I only reported what I knew from publicly available information, including Deena Deardurff Schmidt speaking directly to the camera about it in 2010
All this is putting the horse before the cart. Especially kids (but also adults) need to feel safe to be their most confident, brave, adventurous selves. They need to FEEL, not just rationalize, that if they fail they will still be safe. They will have the support of their coach and their teammates. Their parents will love them.
Katie Ledecky is the best swimmer in the world. It is likely that, even if her progression continues to stall out and even head in the wrong direction, she will win the events she contests this summer at international championships easily.
But right now, Katie Ledecky is swimming in college, which means she's kind of doing another sport known as short course yards. That sport makes her look far more mortal.
n this final edition, I look back at the 2012 Aquatic Sports Convention. This was towards the end of the time that some employees (Chuck Wielgus, Susan Woessner and briefly Mike Unger) attempted to bring me into the fold.
I declined to be co-opted, and Unger's attempt was the one that showed me the depths of hubris that lay in Colorado Springs
Now, before you get all worked up, I want to admit to a couple faults. I have written very many wrong blog posts about suits. I liked the rubbery ones. I still like wearing them but I get why we can't have them. I started multiple flamewars with Craig Lord on this topic and I'm going to tell you that I was mostly wrong.
Today, a "remember when?". Remember when USA Swimming (Chuck Wielgus) retaliated against a rape victim because her proclamation of that rape lead to him being personal embarrassed on ESPN's "Outside the Lines". In this fight over the years, there have been plenty of acrimony on both sides, but this is undoubtedly one of the lowest points.
I think swimming needs dramatic change, that change will be very hard. I think it's worth it, however. Not just for stopping the terrible, abusive, horrible things from happening to people. Reimagining sport around the experience and well-being of people doing also offers the chance for a lot more good things to happen.
I first discovered Irvin Muchnick six or so years ago. I think it may have been in a Swimswam comment. On first read, Muchnick's words can hit you like a two by four across the face. Especially in the world of swimming, to say his approach and willingness to take on powerful figures is uncommon would be a vast understatement.
Mark Schubert wielded enormous power in both organizations, had knowledge that could have saved athletes from our abuse, and didn't do it. He had his chance to be a hero, go public, and put his coaching reputation on the line to do the right thing, and he didn't do it. Instead he tried time and time again to leverage it for personal gain. He is trying to do the same again.
