Hierarchy of Pool Swimming Replacements

Out in Southern California, Mark Schubert has gone rogue and decided to start swimming again. For those of us without the local mayor in our back pocket and an ego that can only be satisfied by putting kids in danger, there are considerably less options for swimming.

In the early days, many of the world’s swimming addicts took a nice pause. Then the withdrawal started to kick in. We wanted to SWIM. Desperate for a fix, various replacements for swimming were tried in people’s homes.

Here, ranked for your enjoyment, are a handful of these activities. Please note that I have ranked them in the order that they replicate pool swimming, overwhelmingly the choice of people who I know that swim and don’t like creepy crawly stuff underneath them.

I have ranked them subjectively and I’ll give some reasoning. If you trust my judgment as a coach this list will be very valuable to you. If you do not, well then welcome to the “Hate Readers of Chris Desantis” club. We’re constantly expanding membership:

Open Water (Duh)

If you’re used to swimming in a pool, not only is open water a great replacement but it might even be better than what you’re doing. I mean, who really says to themselves “shoot, I miss flipturns”. Ok, sure, maybe a lot of people.

But open water swimming lets you swim in a dynamic environment, and in that way has a lot of natural challenge that pool swimming does not. You should of course stay safe, train in groups, watch weather conditions, start in fresh water if you’re inexperienced, etc.

Also, in many parts of the US the open water is extremely cold. So there’s that.

Resisted Swim Spa

What’s annoying about this category is that there is one specific brand that has cornered a name that very easily describes what this is. In solidarity with Kyle Johnson, I will not name that brand until they fork over some sponsorship cash. Maybe sooner than later?

Anyway, these are the 12-18 ft backyard pools where some sort of resistance is applied and you kind of swim in place. These are good because you are swimming (duh). You get a controlled environment (unlike OW) and can get a pretty rad workout without leaving your house.

Also, very importantly, the resistance comes from your front, like it normally does when you swim.

Downside? A good resisted swim thingy can cost you north of $30k, which is not exactly sitting around for most of us these days.

Swimming tied to a resistance cord

I’ve seen plenty of this since mid-march. Kudos to everyone for the improvisation. It is definitely a way to get in water for WAY WAY cheaper than buying one of the above fancy spas.

However, I have to warn that swimming this way will have some long term consequences for the way you swim. Remember that part about resistance? Well it’s kind of backwards for your body to be pulled back rather than swim into resistance.

Your body will adapt a technique to deal with this, and most likely it will not be great for normal swimming. Still, if it satisfies your psychological need to have your face submerged you have to weigh that alongside your technical downfall.

Swim Benches

Ok swim bench people, please don’t sue me. I haven’t done any research here, and I’m just offering my opinion.

Perhaps it is colored by my college swim coach requiring five continuous minutes of VASA work in our inane pre-season “conditioning” test that wasn’t allowed to include any actual, y’know, swimming. So take that for what it’s worth.

The problem I have with swim benches is that they give the appearance of mimicking in-water movements but they just don’t. Pulling your body on a slightly upward angle on land is significantly different than laying flat in a body of water.

Also you can wreck your shoulder by trying to “high elbow catch” like the pros.

Which brings me to my last option

Resistance Bands

::shudder::

Oh, sorry, I just remembered when I made my entire team in Denmark do resistance bands as part of their warmup for a half-season. That was a mistake.

Take all the problems I have with swim benches, and then add this: when you use resistance bands your body doesn’t actually move. So basically it’s like swimming, but if you were doing it on land and attempting to make no forward progress whatsoever.

Resistance bands are probably (?) good for rehab, but only for the 1% of people that actually do it as instructed by a professional and not the other 99% who give it the mental focus they typically reserve for an episode of reality tv that they simultaneously play on their phones during.

Also, in related news I bought a TRX last month and threw out my back within a few weeks.

Stay Safe

Hey folks, its hard out there, and i know you miss your swimming. Don’t let this article deter you from getting your fix however you can. Stay strong, and we’ll get to some other side of this. In the meantime, monitor the water temp at your local body of water and perhaps purchase a wetsuit.