When the pandemic struck, I think most of us had at least two experiences in common. The largest one, and still an ongoing process, is the existential dread of a virus that we know very little about it but has proven deadly to so many. Beyond matters of life and death, there is the secondary disruption to our normal flow of life.
My daughter has not set foot inside a school building since March, and I don’t know whether to believe that she will see one at all this school year. My wife has gone from commuting 45 min into NYC to working every day from home.
Big disruptions like this can very obviously be trying on your psyche. Many of us draw some sense of stability from our routines. A major pivot, however, does not only present trauma. it’s also an opportunity to find new rhythms and patterns that actually work much better for you than “before”.
This is a concept I pushed myself and others hard on during the early days trapped at home. Pay attention to what is going well- remember those things so that you can carry them forward to whatever new normal awaits.
In that vein, coming back to coaching is another big shift for me. I’m writing so that I can capture some of the pieces of this new normal that actually work quite well for me. In creating a living record, I’m more likely to continue them even as the way I work adapts.
Coaching is a Joy Unto Itself
One of the things the pandemic forced my hand on was what activities I find deeply satisfying. I did find great meaning in being home with my kids, and I think I will always look fondly back on the preceding five years where I got to spend far more time with them than I did in my previous “coaching” career.
One of the things that I found reinforced was that I had an undeniable pull towards the act of coaching itself. Part of my story is that I decided I wanted to be a coach at age 14. Although I found great satisfaction when I was physically on the ground working with a team or coaches, my mind craved the daily feedback of helping other people.
I find myself appreciating coaching more than I did in the past. It’s a profession rich with meaning- you have the chance to teach people perhaps more than any other, and that’s not to be taken for granted.
Having a Schedule
One of the things that ran me into the ground when I last coached was not having a clear schedule for when I was “on” and when I was “off”. Without this barrier, you end up constantly in a state of “pseudo-work”. Your brain actually changes in a similar way to what I experienced as a “stay at home” parent.
You can only focus for short periods, you’re reactive in most cases and more simply, disorganized. I’ve never been a highly organized person, but I actually created a less organized version of myself.
This time around, I have clear boundaries of when I am working and when I am not. I have periods of longer than 48 hours where I do not open my email account, something which takes great discipline especially in this age. I have made clear to people I work with when I am available and when I am not.
The result is that I’m better organized, my mood is better when I do show up to work, and I’m way more efficient than I used to be.
Having Co-Workers is Wonderful
I realized over time that one of the things that I have missed for a long time was having co-workers. I think the biggest challenge for head coaches is finding a supportive peer group. Even though I didn’t always agree or get along with my fellow coaches at Penn or Georgia Tech, I drew a lot of energy from having other people that were doing a similar task day in and day out.
As a head coach, in a “foreign” country no less, I often felt like I was completely on an island. There’s a professional distance you must maintain alongside strong relationships with those you work with.
With that in hindsight, I find myself enjoying most seeing other people on a day to day basis, talking up some work stuff while we’re at work, then returning to my home life and turning to fashion advice from my six year old. It’s a nice balance to have- too much of either would throw me out of whack.
Bonus: College Kids
Finally, a nice bonus is that we have a group of college kids that stop by five mornings a week. I see them on Tuesday and Thursday, and it feels like a bit of cheating that I get to coach a group of college kids in a “club” environment.
I know i’ll be a little sad when and if they return to a normal college schedule. So for the moment, I’m just trying to enjoy the opportunity and make the most of it.
Speaking of, as I write this sentence I can remember one of my American history professors in college’s scathing comments about my inability to write a conclusion.