When a coach we like or admire is accused of actively hurting those in their charge, we must fight our reflexive thoughts. Do not rush to condemn their accusers. Have empathy for the fact that accusing is hard and scary.
That does mean, however, that when someone is doing something other than what I’ve landed upon at that moment, I can be quite judgmental. If there is a right, then there must be a wrong. Over the years, I have learned to think less black and white while holding on to my own judgments about what is right and wrong. I’ve learned that there is more than one absolute right in any given situation.
For example, someone “has” confidence, or they don’t. Another person might “have” motivation, or not. When I coached in Denmark, I noted several swimmers when quitting or contemplating quitting would say they had “lost” their motivation. It was almost as if it were a set of keys they had left under a couch cushion and had given up on finding.