I’ve struggled with “body image” for the greater part of my life. I’m going to qualify all the statements I’ve made in this post so far. Before that- let me make one more. I think many people that struggle like I do try to “solve” that problem backwards, so I want to share how I went on that journey. The process is one that you can replicate for anything, not just that niggling sensation you get when you pass a mirror.
In part two of this series, I discussed what I perceived as the lack of empathy for men generally. One of the things that I think that is often misunderstood is how we acknowledge the “privileged” nature of being a man. I won’t attempt to broach that giant subject here, but I do want to distinguish between what I think a lot of people substitute for “empathy” and why many people may think that there is already too much empathy for men in the world.
I’ve been on a hot streak of podcasting recently. It’s been over a year since I changed the podcast format and committed to at least trying to put up an interview podcast every week. I think I’ve done that about 95% of the past year, and I’ve seen benefits well beyond what I’ve expected.
Today I want to focus on something different. As consistent readers will also have noted, I am on a bit of a “masculinity” or male identity jam right now. One of the things I’m arguing for passionately is more empathy for men, writ large, in the world. I want to talk about a barrier that I am running into and suggest that the barrier is in everyone’s best interest to remove.
Lately I've been listening to a music mix that convinces me that I am rapidly moving towards the "old" portion of my life. I go out for a jog, or a dog walk, and I put on the "Top 100 Songs of 2002". That's right, I've decided effectively "screw new music". Let's just play what I listened to when I was eighteen and life was simple and easy.
Over the last couple weeks, significant challenges to two of the most popular Positive Psychology concepts have emerged. The Marshmallow test, a foundational piece of research behind GRIT, and the effect of growth mindset have each faced serious criticism.
I've seen both GRIT and growth mindset spread like wildfire in athletic environments. Do these new challenges mean we should throw them away just as quickly? Probably, not, but let's see what is going on with each argument
have read a great deal about "parents these days", written by youth sports coaches. There are refrains that often come through that ring false to me. They ring false not because I have not had my fair share of bad interactions with "parents" (I have), but because I now see them in a new light.
This excellent piece from a week ago delved into a serious flaw in the "Safe Sport" materials that USA Swimming puts coaches, staff and volunteers through. I realized that in many parts of my coaching career, I internalized a culture that demanded that I be allowed to coach "my way" without being questioned by the parents of children I coached. I was wrong.
Yesterday, Swimswam published lengthy interview by Jared Anderson of Swimswam of Ariana Kukors Smith. Kukors Smith continues to provide excellent insight for parents, swimmers and coaches alike. Here were a few crucial points I took away from reading it:
Note: This is the second piece written after I attended a Congressional hearing with Olympic Sports leaders on Tuesday, May 24th. You can find my "quick hit" thoughts here.
Larry Nassar has become a household name for all the worst reasons. Yesterday, his name was probably the most frequently used by representatives as they questioned Olympic sports leaders.
Some part of me, though, was having a huge freak out about sitting comfortably in my theater recliner at precisely 6:45 pm when the first preview rolled.
Thankfully, I've learned to limit some of my obsessive control behaviors to general timeliness. In coaching, I've had to let a lot go. I could probably stand to let loose a lot more.
The fundamental here is simple. Harping on the deficits of athletes you are coaching is not an effective technique for getting improvement. This is not about "holding them accountable" or "sugarcoating". It's just a matter of fact: shaming is not a coaching technique
Having said all that, I'm actually quite sad. Even when Lord wrote something that made my eyes bleed I was glad he was there. We could fight online and to the casual observer it would seem quite nasty, but every time I actually spoke with the man on the phone or in person I found him exceedingly nice, polite and reasoned.
In both cases, though, the bar for success has been set very high. While many people liked to rumble that Hawke was underachieving at Auburn, Taylor will have to at least show something in between the last few years and the Dave Marsh years. At VT, Lopez will replace a coach that, in my opinion, overachieved during his tenure. So he'll have to get another level of overachievement.
